3rd Septmember

Speaking of Carruthers bout of old syph, took a bit of a twist the other day, talk of the officers mess it was! Well, you remember how I told you that Carruthers was a bit quiet for a few days before the film at the NAAFI? Well, turns out that the chaps in the mess had got old Carstairs just a bit drunk one night and Caruthers even more so. Carruthers doesn’t remember bugger all about it, which is quite an appropriate turn of phrase given the circumstances! In a drunken state the chaps managed to convince old Carstairs that the new barmaid in the NAAFI bar that everyone has been going on about had got the hots for him in a big way and she was waiting for him in the cellar. Of course there are no lights down there! Managed to convince him that as she had got the painters in she would take it up the arse! Well Carruthers had been suitably prepared and left down there and then enter Carstairs, in more ways than one! Too pissed to tell any different he was just about to hit the vinegar stroke when on went all the torches, and cameras were everywhere. Carruthers was convinced that his piles were playing up again the following morning and has been buying all the pile ointment he could put his hands on until this morning, well, it’s all over the camp newspaper! Carruthers hasn’t been seen since; although rumour has it that the shortage of the camp rag is due to the fact that he has bought them all up and he may be responsible for the fire down at the General’s wife’s garden potting shed. Carstairs can’t work out why everyone is walking funny when they pass him. Bit of a rum do all round I’d say!
Any how old boy gotta go. Need to organise the re-building party for the potting shed.